Up until now....

So up until now the class has read and discussed some talks that reflect the material that we are learning and using in our lives. I have read each talk and written a response to each.


Response to:"The Doer of Our Deeds and the Speaker of Our Words"
M. CATHERINE THOMAS
Communications
19/01/10
The Doer of Our Deeds and the Speaker of Our Words

This talk given by M. Catherine Thomas was one of the most interesting talks that I have recently read. I really enjoyed it because it made me think and realize how much our society today really focuses on the importance of good self-esteem.
I think that this is really interesting the way that Sister Thomas explained how self-esteem really isn’t that important. Her view and talk is so much different from our culture today because we are taught to believe in yourself, know you can do anything you put your mind to and to trust in yourself. But her approach is that we are nothing that really all we need is our Father in heaven and that is so amazingly true! I loved it! From this view our self worth means much more to us if we are able to effectively apply it in our lives. For instance in the world today we are meant to try and have a good self-esteem. But how do we accomplish that? Usually we are successful in completing our goals or achieving our desires, or we are good at an activity or sport. But also we rely far too much on the outside environment and lean on that outside stuff to build and maintain our self esteem. Like Sister Thomas explains the road to developing and having a good self-esteem becomes a source of stress and anxiety to us. As we slip and mess up and disappoint ourselves we become less and less confident and our self-esteem suffers. With the idea of self-esteem it is far too easy to become depressed or lose our faith in ourselves and be let down and suffer. But Sister Thomas shows us the solution to the problems that self-esteem causes, just like the answer to so many other questions that we have in our lives, our Savior Jesus Christ and his teachings in the scriptures.
I love the alternative Sister Thomas gave to self-esteem, and not only that, but it makes complete sense to me. We must go back and remember the lesson that has been taught to us many times, the plan of Salvation. From the plan of salvation we can go back and remember that we came from our Heavenly Father’s presence. That we were sent here to live on this earth and learn how to live by faith in our Savior, trusting in Him in all things that we do. We need to realize how small we really are and how powerless we are to save ourselves. It is our Heavenly Father that gives us all things and if we humble ourselves we will continually grow and progress in our spirituality and as we do this the stress of progressing in our self-esteem will seem less and less important.
Personally I think that this is a wonderful talk and I wish that I had this talk when I was younger. It would have saved me from pursuing some things that may have been more to promote my self esteem that to grow closer my Lord. Sister Thomas uses many wonderful references to support her talk. They show that we cannot really accomplish anything without the help of our God. That we must boast in the strength of God than boast in our own strength, like Ammon had done when he showed that self esteem didn’t mean as much to him as the love of God. Another part of Sister Thomas’s address that I really liked was the point made that possible doors or other opportunities were not shut because we were unskilled, incompetent or just under qualified, but because Heavenly Father was just guiding us. In my life there have been moments I’ve wondered what I was doing, where I was going, what direction I should go and I just felt I needed direction and well when things didn’t work out I always just trusted in the Lord and took it that there was a reason the Lord didn’t want me to do that and having that mindset I never really got discouraged I just went along with it and so far its worked out great for me. But for the future I really just want to be a disciple of Christ. That throughout each and every day I would continually strive to make myself more humble and remember what He has done for me. I am really going to try and apply this talk in my life because I agree completely that it is more important to have the Love of God in our lives and realize we are nothing and humble ourselves to His will and allow Him to guide us in our trials than to have a great self-esteem and be puffed up in my own pride into believing that I can actually do anything. I know that that I am nothing that I need my Heavenly Father in my life and I know that I have and can feel the Love of God in my life


Response to: The Great Measure of Discipleship
Kenneth L. Southwick

Communications 150
Sister Embree
01/02/10
The Great Measure of Our Discipleship

When Brother Southwick asked, “what is the great measure of my discipleship?” I really didn’t know how to answer that. I thought maybe something to the extent of how I obey the commandments or ask close as how I treat other. But I didn’t think that my great measure of my discipleship was how I viewed other. I really liked this talk because it explained the importance of how we treat and act with others based upon how we view them. This talk explains the way that we are suppose to treat others and how we are supposed to view others as daughters and sons of Heavenly Father. I think this is so important because Brother Southwick was right when he said that not all people are aware that they even judge others or treat them differently. But the real scary part is that it happens a lot and we don’t know what the effect is on a person in need. Like the story of the young lady was a great example of what happens when we don’t take into consideration the feelings of others how such a seemingly small action can influence a life so greatly. The young man had no idea how his actions had made her feel. Like some of us we are oblivious to the feelings of others when we act.
This story reminds me of my Jr. high/ early high school experience. I had always had my click of friends. I did everything with them, I want to school with them, I went to church with them, I participated in scouting, went camping, and everything with this group of friends, until I reached the 9th grade. For some reason their views for me changed. Instead of being their friend I became the one to make fun of because I was different. For some reason they were only able to focus on that part of me and the worst part was they didn’t see how I felt every time they said something about me, they didn’t understand or take into consideration how I felt. Eventually I didn’t have any friends. I didn’t want to go hang out anymore, going to school was a constant dread and I walked out of church several times due to their remarks. I was miserable and really I felt like I had no friends. I thought why did everything change this year? Why was I so different than the years before? I couldn’t understand and I hurt more than I ever have in my entire life. I felt completely alone, abandoned by those who I looked up to, by those I loved and by those who I thought cared about me. Unfortunately it became a very big problem for me and I received so much harassment that I returned home crying what seemed like every day. I had lost sight that I was a child of God and my thoughts became rash looking for any escape they even came to thoughts of running away or suicide. Thankfully one of my childhood friends that I had not talked to in about a year came and talked to me sensing something to be wrong. I told her everything and that act of her just asking what’s the matter was the biggest and most important question to me in jr. high. It helped me to realize I wasn’t totally alone and slowly after that turning point I was able to find new friends, better friends, friends that looked at me like a person and treated me with respect. I will never forget this experience my entire life and so for me this story had a lot of meaning and I could feel a lot of empathy for this young woman. I am happy to say that I have become more comfortable with my heritage and ethnicity and I am ok with remarks that back then would have hurt me. But now the difference is that my friends can joke with me about my race, but my true friends know where to draw the line how to respect me. I myself had promised myself that I would never judge someone negatively and I would always try to see the good in them. Some have called this my weakness but I consider this one of my greatest strengths, to be able to look at someone and love them, to see their potential as a son or daughter of God and to treat them as such. I feel that if I judge others and do not view them as the valuable person they are then I am no better than my used to be friends. I would be a hypocrite and if I judge others then I deserve to be judged. I have tried to be more conscious of the feelings of those around me. I want to help those who feel as if they have nothing and help them see they are loved. That there is happiness and hope. I want to help others see themselves and everyone else as sons and daughters of our Loving Heavenly Father. I don’t want anyone to feel like I did back then I want them to feel like I do now and not only feel but I want to influence the good in others I want others to meet me and want to be a better person and I want them to be happy. This talk was amazing and I loved it. It showed the importance of knowing how we view others and how we treat them and be conscious of that. We can’t always be aware of everything that is going on around us but we should try to be open to those in need. Like our Savior’s example we need to see them for who they are and to show others we love them and ask “what can I do for you?” (Mark 10)


Response to:"And Nothing Shall Offend Them" - David A Bednar

Communications 150
Sister Embree
10/02/10

And Nothing Shall Offend Them

Elder Bednar is such an amazing speaker. He is always so clear and his council is unmistakable. The topic of his talk was to not take offense to possibly offending situations or actions from others. While I was reading this talk I was thinking about a quote that I heard. I can’t remember who said it but they said, “No one can make you inferior without your consent.” Meaning that really no one can make you become angry no one can make you mad without your permission.
On my mission I had the opportunity to meet many amazing people. One of these was a recent convert to the church. He and his wife had just been baptized before I arrived in the area and immediately when I had arrived they were feeding me and inviting me in and being so friendly. Over a number of weeks I became good friends with this family they were going to church reading their scriptures and progressing so quickly it was amazing to look at where they had come to where they were in their spirituality. But all of their progress was almost destroyed by a ward activity that we had. During this ward activity we had several coupons that were handed out at the door for food drinks and games. We would trade these coupons for these items to make sure that there was enough food that everyone had enough to eat. During this activity my recent convert friends came in received their coupons and proceeded to wait in the long line to trade the coupon for food. Well somewhere along the way my friend, he lost his ticket on the ground or misplaced it. When he finally reached the food he told the sister what had happened she told him that she wouldn’t give him his food until he had his coupon, when obviously she had enough food and she personally knew him and called him a friend. He tried to explain to her that he was hungry and he would be happy to get other coupon if he could get some food at that time and come back later. Unfortunately the sister pushed him aside and called for the next person with a coupon. My friend became very upset and decided that he would never participate in another activity again. It took me and my companion several weeks of visiting this man daily to help him to come back. But long story short we ended up teaching him this exact same principle. That his refusal to go to church and activities was hurting him spiritually. He was a very understanding man and he thought about it several days but in the end he chose to not be offended by the actions of this sister and come back. Eventually they became friends again and forgave each other and my friend continued to grow and progress in the church.
Elder Bednar’s address to the members not to be offended was perfect because no matter how hard we try someone is going to offend us. But I liked his note of, perfecting the saints. We are all growing and all learning together and eventually we are going to accidentally offend someone or be offended and we can accept to be angry or invite the atonement in our lives and feel its power and forgive before a problem occurs. Also, just as important is how we talk to the person after wards. We must talk to them privately and nicely. This way I feel that contention can be totally be avoided and that members can greatly progress in their lives and spirituality. I know that I am not the best when it comes to not being offended by others. But I will defiantly take Elder Bednar’s council and not be offended. I have already lost some of the blessing I could have had because of this problem in my life and I won’t allow it to affect me again. Also I will try and help others realized the importance of not becoming offended and to forget the past and receive blessings in their lives. Forgiveness is a very powerful healing tool in our lives and in our spirituality. The hardest part is actually letting go and forgiving those who have wronged you but once we have done that we are able to feel the love of the Savior in our lives and continue to use that momentum to push us to continue to not be offended and help others. That is another thing that I feel was of great importance in Elder Bednar’s talk was to help others. Reach out to them and remind them of the lost blessings and the possible blessings that could come into their lives if they chose to come back and participate in the ordinances of the gospel. The most important thing is to help them feel the power of the Holy Ghost in their lives again to help them to remember that the church is true and that they shouldn’t give up blessings to bitterness and hate but realize that feeling and having the Holy Ghost and its guidance in our lives is much more important than past grudges. Like Elder Bednar said some of them do not see it that way and if we can reach out and help them understand then we should.


Response to:"The Tongue of Angels" - Jeffrey R Holland
Communications 150
Sister Embree
17/02/10
The Tongues of Angels Response

This talk by Elder Holland was exactly what I needed this weekend. I was having a little bit of a rough time and I really didn’t know what to do or really what to say. It is true that the tongue has a lot of power and has to be restrained sometimes but on the other hand the opposite is true. Many miracles and amazing moments throughout the scriptures have taken place from the words that the prophets have prophesied.
In this talk I thought was great when Elder Holland talked about the relationships between a husband and wife and how they should be communicating with one another. W e need to strive to be more perfect men and women in our lives. This weekend was an interesting experience for me because I learned something about myself. I learned that the language that my fiancé uses affects me a lot more than I would like. When I’m with someone that I love and respect I feel completely safe with them and I am very vulnerable when this happens. So this weekend there were a lot of factors that played into the situation but I was told some very harsh and unfair things and I felt the most hurt that I have ever felt during the relationship. Her words had such an effect on me that I wasn’t expecting it really caught me off guard and knocked me down. Even when she apologized I still couldn’t help but dwell on what had been said. I could not get it out of my head and I felt so hurt over and over again I thought about ending the relationship. I mean my whole perspective of the relationship was changed because of a few things that were said to me. The language that we use in our relationship affects the way we communicate greatly. Thankfully we resolved the problem, but it took us hours to begin to talk and act the same way with each other. But thankfully the problems were resolved and everything is back to normal between us. Another thing about the relationships between the husband and wife that stuck out to me was the chilling fact that there are those husbands that would never strike their wives but they hurt them emotionally and verbally is something that they would do without really realizing it. But it Elder Holland gives advice to them as well that isn’t like the men’s but takes a different approach of how the sisters voices are like angels and why they would foul that up with backbiting and gossip. I learned this week that it is so important to hold back when I’m in a dispute and think about what I want to say because it absolutely ruined my weekend when we began to fight. I need to take Elder Holland’s advice to step back and think about what my actions and words will do for my relationship.
I loved how Elder Holland compared the tongue to a fire. That it is such a small part of the body but really it can cause an amazing about of damage. The tongue is just a fire ready to rage out of control if we don’t keep it in check and choose our words wisely.
Another thing that I thought about was the comment that someone that talks to others negatively really has a pessimistic outlook on their life and ultimately treats others with disrespect because of their unhappiness. This kind of ties in with the whole idea of buckets and dippers when someone is feeling empty they will steal from others to try and lift themselves up and empty others. But the opposite must be true as well, if we are happy and have a positive attitude about life then you tend to treat others better and communicate better with others.
Elder Holland in the end of his talk gives us some advice to help us in our lives to better us our language with others. When we strive to perfect ourselves we can become more and more like our Savior and speak with the tongues of angels. Our words reflect our deeds and our lives. So when we act in the church we are counseled to act in faith, hope, charity and love. We also need to be able to act in these elements in the way we speak as well so that we may have the Holy Ghost to be with us to lead and protect us in all we do and in our words to guide us in what we say. So after this talk I think that I will be better prepared for the next time that I have a dispute with my wife. I need to use all the skills and tips that I have learned in this class to see her as a the daughter of God, to understand her and interpret her actions and to be guided by the spirit in what I do and say to her…my words I learned this weekend are just as important as my deeds. I can do better than I am. I will do better.


These are the talks and here are my thoughts. I hope you like them! I'm also going to post a blog with our class discussions and other assignments that we have been given soon!